
But I persevered and it got a lot better. There are aspects of it that are also helpful for my own sanity. I imagine it will take a lot of practice to implement, since the old habits of parenting with fear and compulsion are, sadly, very ingrained.
It is impossible to be neutral about China. Some foreigners hate it from the first moment they arrive, and some love it so much that they put down roots and never leave.I fall closer to the second category; I loved China so much and almost took a semi-permanent job in Shanghai, teaching English to software engineers who wore yellow lab coats. But instead, I came home and married a software engineer who wears goofy tee shirts. I think I made the right choice, but maybe my software engineer and I will go back to Shanghai for a little sabbatical.
As I said, if I don't do anything, I tend to put on the pounds. . . . "Life just isn't fair," is how it used to strike me. Some people can work their butts off and never get what they're aiming for, while others can get it without any effort at all. But when I think about it, having the kind of body that easily puts on weight was perhaps a kind of blessing in disguise. In other words, if I don't want to gain weight, I have to work out hard every day, watch what I eat, and cut down on indulgences.
Life can be tough, but as long as you don't stint on the effort, your metabolism will greatly improve with these habits, and you'll end up much healthier, not to mention stronger. To a certain extent, you can even slow down the effects of aging. But people who naturally keep the weight off naturally, no matter what, don't need to exercise or watch their diet in order to stay trim. There can't be many of them who would go out of their way to take these troublesome measures when they don't need to, which is why, in many cases, their physical strength deteriorates as they age. If you don't exercise, your muscles will naturally weaken, as will your bones. Some of my readers may be the kind of people who easily gain weight, but the only way to understand what's really fair is to take a long-range view of things. For the reasons I give above, I think this physical nuisance should be viewed in a positive way, as a blessing. We should consider ourselves lucky that the red light is so clearly visible.